Go Deep, Go Deeper

Into this mystery called Life.

Duality and the deep inner knowing of who I AM has never been as clear to me as during this escalating world pandemic crisis. I have watched myself, along with so many others, get drawn into the news of the moment, into the shock and grief and too often – the drama. I have been inspired and comforted by spiritual teachers and their wisdom. And from my own awakening journey, I have known that meditation, writing and other practices that connect me and keep me living from the Presence I AM, are vital to a healthy life – physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Now more than ever!

And yet – the immense shock of what is taking place has continued to draw me away from those depths and into the reactions of the mind and its interpretations – be they mine or others.

Then one clear, bright, recent morning, sunlight streaming over my face and through the crystal mobiles lighting my room with a myriad of rainbow reflections, I heard the words Go Deep, Go Deep over and over. So many teachings from the years surfaced and I realized that not only could I contribute in the form of thoughts arising from inner stillness, but that I can also contribute by diving deeply into that stillness, into the unknown, into the darkness, into the peace-beyond-all-understanding, into the infinite vastness of eternity – not to escape what is going on in the world – but instead to be a part of and contribute to its healing.

The Caramel Flow of Awareness

Reactions are just that – reactions. They join an ever-increasing, noisy crescendo of fear and panic and grief and speculation. They contribute nothing of any use. Everyone has an opinion and a solution.

But diving deeper and deeper into the truth of Life Itself, brings new awareness, new insight, new peace of mind, new love and compassion. This awareness spreads like warm caramel through every cell of my being, through my heart and through the information that comes into my mind through the media. Somehow this caramel stream of awareness is heavier than those thoughts, it spreads out and out, dripping into hidden corners and crevices where fear or confusion has lived. It anchors me in a deep, sweet knowing that is beyond words and emotions.

In these moments I know healing, I know love, I know light, I know all-that-is. I am reminded of the words of William Blake from “Auguries of Innocence”

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour….
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light

William Blake

This knowing that flows from some deep inner place is a contribution to this shocked and reeling world.

Living From The Deep

I scheduled times throughout my day to dive into the depths of being I AM. Before I turned on the news or went online, I dived deeply, so that I could read and watch from a different place, and experience a different reaction. And I could flow different energy.

The mind that had been so reactive, even addicted to the drama, quieted down. A sense of inner strength flowed up inside my body, into my heart, and into my mind bringing a different interpretation, an appreciation of facts and an ability to discern those facts in the midst of all else.

I continue to remind myself to live from Presence in everyday moments – only now I call it living from the Deep. So just walking from one room to another becomes a walking meditation, sitting at my computer and working becomes working from the Deep, eating becomes eating in and from the Deep, washing the dishes becomes an exercise in conscious awareness seen through the eyes of the Deep. Talking to someone, face-timing, messaging, all take on deeper dimensions.

I feel this deep in my body, deep in its cells – aliveness, awareness, joy.

Deeper Diving Contributes to Healing

There’s really nothing new here – but one different word helped me to take living in and from Presence to deeper levels of awareness. Eckhart Tolle has been using the term – the deep I – for some time. It denotes a deeper dive. I have often visualized a funnel, the inside of which is diamond smooth – nothing can stick. When I am able to release the thinking mind, I am able to slide down the inside of the funnel into the deeper essence of my being. All those sticky thoughts are left on the outside of the funnel – which feels as though is is covered in velcro

Living on the surface awareness of life has contributed to so very many of the issues that our planet faces today: from the pain and suffering of people at the forgotten end of the spectrums of wellbeing, health and wealth to the destruction of the planet. We all know the perceived power of corruption and greed.

I have so often felt the hopelessness and helplessness of knowing a bigger picture of life in the face of such power which appears to diminish and degrade all that is sacred and holy in the existence of a lifetime on this planet. I believe now is a time that is calling for deeper diving. Go deeper, and deeper, and yet deeper again planet earth seems to be saying. Deeper to where you know who you are and where you came from.

It is said in eastern traditions that the question Who am I? is the most powerful awakening question you can ask. Now is the time to ask, and to keep asking Who am I?

There is, of course, no answer in words to that question, but it is the asking of it that opens up those deeper dimensions of existence we need to access if we are to truly contribute to the healing of ourselves, our well-being and our planet.

Who AM I?


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