Now You Are Gone!

Jazzy – My Cocker Spaniel Buddy.

Heart of my heart, light of my life – you are gone. On May 21st, 2015, you left this world of form to return to Oneness. Your light shines on, eternally, but oh how I miss that form.Jazzy and the Flowers_LR-2

 For 14 1/2 years you graced my life with your presence. How am I to continue life without that small, black furry being by my side? Right now, it feels so empty and lonely and sad. And yet even in the midst of my tears, I know you are here with me and always will be. You just won’t want that special piece of chicken, that treat you were always ready for, nor will I watch your cute little butt wiggle along the path ahead of me on a walk, or be sure to make room for you at the foot of my bed when I turn over in the middle of the night.

Photographs help ease the pain.

 Now, as I go through the hundreds of photographs I am so glad I have of you, memories flood back of the numberless and timeless moments we shared, you and I, you and Jerry and I. And I cannot help but be deeply and eternally grateful for your life and all that you brought into mine. Into ours. As I allow memories to surface, the tears subside and a warmth and love arises that I could not have known without having known you.

 A particular memory I treasure is the traveling to and from Idaho Falls the summer we lived in Alpine, Wyoming. You, just sitting on the seat beside me, me patting and stroking your head, and the look of pure love that poured from those big brown eyes of yours. Unconditional, pure love. It made me aware of how closed my heart was at times, and how being with you in this way opened my heart more than ever before.

 Change to Accept

Now my every day habits have changed since you are no longer here for me to take care of, to know where you are in every moment. Yet your essence still graces my life and always will. Still I can talk to you, walk with you, feel gratitude to and for you, share love with you. I know in my mind it is simply the form that has changed and that in time my heart will accept and know this truth.IMG_1381_LR

 Doggy Heaven

I also know you are safe and happy in doggy heaven with all those who have gone before you: in particular Shakti – a special shining golden light – Misty, Sam, Benson, Tina, Bella, Tammy, the Chihuahuas and so many other treasures.

Namaste. Rest in Peace, love and light of my life. And continue to shine through our hearts, Jerry’s and mine.