I am barely beginning to understand the enormous freedom that comes as I recognize I am in a reactive mode and I stop, just for a minute, and I breathe and I say to myself, “This isn’t me. This really isn’t me. This is a reactive brain track I am running along”. And then I move my attention inside me to my conscious awareness.
It’s hard to explain – this consciousness – I guess because words are totally inadequate. But when I am able to move into this place, it’s as if I am inside a space or bubble of pure peace, aliveness and oneness. It’s as if I am aware of my environment from inside me, kind of like how you can see with your peripheral vision.Those thoughts I was having just a moment ago, that were making me feel so uncomfortable, are pushed to outer circles around me – further and further away.
Then there is space for Life to remind me that those thoughts are not who I am; that it doesn’t matter what is going on with someone else, why they have or haven’t done this or that, or that the future I am worrying and fussing about doesn’t exist any more than does the past. When the future does arrive, and it becomes the Present Moment, all the answers I am now fussing about will be revealed in more perfection that I could ever begin to imagine right now.
And this ENORMOUS burden just falls away. I don’t have to think about the future, nor do I even have to think about the present if it involves another for whose life and actions I am not responsible. I can set that person free to be whomever they choose to be. Whomever, whatever, with whom and how that person chooses to be is not my business, especially if that person is not here in this present moment with me. What an absolute time waster that is – to be fussing about another and he or she isn’t even here in this present moment physically with me.
And what freedom to drop all that thought.